Polar Bears

My assistant ATC has just finished illustrating his question of the day.

Q: What color is the skin of a polar bear?
A: Black.

Me: Does the polar bear not get a face?
Assistant: It's the back of his head. He's about to get his head cut off by the man.

Transportation

Two cross country guys and a women's golfer discussing our off-campus track:
Cross country guy #1: Yeah, so it's just a mile and a half jog in the trails to the track. It's a nice warm up.
Women's golfer: Haven't you heard of cars? Transportation?
Cross country guy #2: Haven't you heard of gas prices?

I May Be Out of a Job Soon

Men's soccer player: [Talking to a teammate doing rehab] Hey.. I took "Prevention of Athletic Injuries" at my old school. I know this stuff. [Pointing] Elbow...thumb...wrist. DON'T LET YOUR HEEL PASS YOUR TOES! BAD FORM!! You're going to get hurt. Can I tape your ankle?

CrossFit Friends

One of the CrossFitters is performing in a Christmas production at her church and has invited some of us to attend. She continues the story:

CrossFit girl #1: So I told my friends in the production that I invited y'all and they were unsure about y'all coming. There were afraid that you would sit in the audience and get too intense.
CrossFit girl #2: Yeah, they're right. We'd just start yelling encouragement at you for no reason. "YOU HIT THAT HIGH NOTE! YEAH! GET SOME!!"
CrossFit girl #1: "DO THAT ARABESQUE!" Yeah, y'all might need to tone it down.

Texas

Baseball player #1: Hey, what's going on?
Baseball player #2: It's a Texas thing, you wouldn't understand.

Internal Organs

Question of the Day: The surface area of which internal organ is roughly the size of a tennis court?
Men's soccer player: Epiglottis

Answer: Lungs

Ready to Go

Getting ready for the conference final playoff:
Women's soccer player: I've had two massages from Rachel and I've pooped. I'm ready to go!

Big and Strong

Baseball player: [He is maybe 160 pounds dripping wet.] *Sings* Gotta get my big and strong juice! Gotta get my big and strong juice!

Getting Cut

Men's Soccer Player #1: What is that stuff? Steroids?
Men's Soccer Player #2: Naw, man. Whey protein.
Men's Soccer Player #1: Tryin' to get big, get swoll?
Men's Soccer Player #2: No...just cut.
Men's Soccer Player #3: C'mere and I'll draw on the lines.

Scoops

Discussing the softball team's efforts to raise awareness about breast cancer:
Me: It's a good idea - "Save the Scoops" and ice cream. I haven't seen that one before.
Male ATC: They gave me a pink ribbon for my buttpack. [Grabs both of his pecs] I don't have boobs.