Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Heat Packs

Men's soccer player comes into heat his quad. The process of getting a heat pack is:

  • Step 1: Get a heat pack cover off the drying rack. Open it like a book, so the Velcro is facing up.
  • Step 2: Using the tongs, reach into the hydroculator (where we keep the heat packs in almost-boiling water) and pull out the heat pack that matches the size of your cover.
  • Step 3: Lay the heat pack flat on one side of the cover and then fold the other side on top, matching Velcro to Velcro.
  • Step 4: Have a seat and place the heat pack over sore area for no more than 15 minutes.
His process of getting the heating pack was:
  • Step 1: Reach into hydroculator and pull out the heat pack that is fully submerged.
  • Step 2: Fling the heat pack on the ground, grab a cover that is too small, and try and pick it up quickly, thinking I didn't see.
  • Step 3: Takes the too-big hot pack and the too-small cover to the table, folds the hot pack in half, puts it directly on his skin, and covers it with the cover.
  • Step 4: Jumps off the table, swearing about how he just burned his leg.
Me: [Soccer guy #1], are you alright? It's just a hot pack. It's not that difficult. And you've done this before the correct way.
Soccer guy #2: Come on, Rach, it's [Soccer guy #1]. Of course it's that difficult. 

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Geometry 101

During our agility workout:

Men's coach: So you're going to be making a trapezoid.
Soccer player: What's a trapezoid? No, seriously, what's that?

Monday, September 12, 2011

Desperate Times

Soccer girl: Rach, just so you know, I locked my keys and jacket in your office last night after the game. Don't worry though, I managed to crawl through your office window and I got everything. 

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Great Authors

Question of the day: Who invented the words "gloomy", "hobnob", and "impartial"?
Answer: William Shakespeare 

Baseball player : Nebeneezer Scrooge