Sausages

Me: Just don't sleep with your Ace wrap on; your fingers will swell up and look like sausages.
Baseball player: So that's why I woke up and my hand was huge! I thought I was just getting old.

Famous Last Words

Rock climber #1: Okay, here's the 5.10. Any last words?
Rock climber #2: Yeah...watch this!
Rock climber #3: Look what I can do!

"Can I Stim My Brain?"

Baseball player: So last night, I took my portable TENS unit and we hooked up the electrodes to my buddy's face. On his cheeks, right by his eyes. Then we cranked it up - it was so awesome!

Medical History Questionnaire

Question on our medical history form - Do you experience shortness of breath with exercise?


Softball girl: Yes, just from being out of shape.

Professional Hydration Expert

Softball girl: Why are you standing by the water? You're making me nervous.

Me: Because I'm a professional hydration expert.

Softball girl: Really? Is it hard to learn to be that? 

Curls for the Girls

Baseball player: I go home and do curls all night long. Right arm only. Don't need the left.